I am one of the women that rejects this story. I can't help but to feel annoyed by your not-at-all-subtle eagerness to portray yourself as a victim of abuse or to tell your tattoo experience as one of body mutilation. I understand that patriarcal structures for sure had an impact on you not feeling safe to say something or to just leave, but jeez, have some accountability. You are a human being with agency, with a voice and with a chance to take action. You are not just a victim of all life circumstances, you are not a helpless child. You didn't say anything and you got a tattoo you didn't like. I am sorry about it, but "there's people dying, kim", and the thing is, if everything is an abuse, nothing is an abuse. And in times when (specially in the USA) women's right over their bodies is actually being hindered (e.g. Alabama's Supreme Court recent ruling), do you really think this story is a prime example of how women's consent is disregarded by society - as you are putting it? I also find the comparison with non consensual sexual encounters insensitve and a huge reach, wich serves nothing but yourself, by pleasing your desire to feel recognized as a victim.
You're certainly welcome to feel that way. To be clear though, this piece is about empty consent. I did not, and do not, lodge this as abuse. (The last piece IS about workplace harassment, but that's a different situation.) This story is about what drives us to say "yes" when we really mean "no," and navigating the aftermath of having done a poor job of caring for own bodies and needs. It doesn't claim to be the most prime example of problematic consent culture, it is simply one example of how complicated it is to diagnose and understand consent within our current social framework.
I am one of the women that rejects this story. I can't help but to feel annoyed by your not-at-all-subtle eagerness to portray yourself as a victim of abuse or to tell your tattoo experience as one of body mutilation. I understand that patriarcal structures for sure had an impact on you not feeling safe to say something or to just leave, but jeez, have some accountability. You are a human being with agency, with a voice and with a chance to take action. You are not just a victim of all life circumstances, you are not a helpless child. You didn't say anything and you got a tattoo you didn't like. I am sorry about it, but "there's people dying, kim", and the thing is, if everything is an abuse, nothing is an abuse. And in times when (specially in the USA) women's right over their bodies is actually being hindered (e.g. Alabama's Supreme Court recent ruling), do you really think this story is a prime example of how women's consent is disregarded by society - as you are putting it? I also find the comparison with non consensual sexual encounters insensitve and a huge reach, wich serves nothing but yourself, by pleasing your desire to feel recognized as a victim.
You're certainly welcome to feel that way. To be clear though, this piece is about empty consent. I did not, and do not, lodge this as abuse. (The last piece IS about workplace harassment, but that's a different situation.) This story is about what drives us to say "yes" when we really mean "no," and navigating the aftermath of having done a poor job of caring for own bodies and needs. It doesn't claim to be the most prime example of problematic consent culture, it is simply one example of how complicated it is to diagnose and understand consent within our current social framework.
I see. Thanks for replying!